Preparing a wedding doesn't mean you are only struggling with money and time, but also with the communication with your parents. Naturally, there are a lot of parents who have particular wishes for their children's wedding. Their desires are often in contrast with the bride and groom-to-be's plans. Don't let this internal conflict reduce the joy of your wedding preparation. Here are some tips on how to communicate your wedding plan to your parents.
1. First of all, mention the budget you and your partner are capable of managing. Say it honestly whether you want to fund it on your own, or you open with your parents' financial support. Your parents will eventually set their expectation.
2. Listen to their aspirations and expectations about your wedding celebration. Talk about it properly on how to realize it. If it is not possible, discuss and be open minded to look for other alternatives.
3. Share visual references directly to them about the wedding concept you have planned. Explain why you and your partner adore and choose the theme. With direct communication, the message becomes more explicit because the parents already have a distinct idea about the wedding concept.
4. If you have obstacles, financially or other factors, don't hesitate to let your parents know. If the obstacles are particularly your parent's request, you should discuss the solution together.
5. Invite your parents to agree that family always comes first through the wedding preparation. Often, there are a lot of external suggestions coming to you, your partner, or your parents. Remind your parents that since it is your wedding, the decisions are in the hands of you and your partner.
6. If your parents want to support financially, make sure you set the boundaries. For example, if your parents want to support the venue budget fully, then let them pick which venue fits best. Your loads will become less, and you can concentrate on other needs.
7. If some of your parent's expectations are different from yours, try to understand what is their intentions. Open a discussion to talk about another alternative to realize their wish. For example, your mother expects you to wear her wedding gown, but you actually hesitate because it is not trendy anymore. You can consider to wear it during the pre-wedding photoshoot instead of during the reception.
Before communicating with your family, make sure you and your partner have shared the same vision so your parents can see your sincerity. When there are family conflicts, you and your partner can support each other and help to bring back the focus to find a solution.
A little selfishness doesn't hurt because, in the end, the wedding is about you and your partner. If a conflict arises, persuade and remind your parents to focus again in supporting your special day that will be the happiest moment for the entire family. It is crucial always to communicate everything nicely and politely. Your parents will certainly understand and show their supports.