After the honeymoon period has passed, you and your spouse might be distracted by works, kids, overloaded social calendar, or other business and daily activities. As a result, you spend less time together and barely has the energy to be intimate with each other. Sex that once was something the two of you were looking forward to, no longer becomes a priority. But the truth is, no matter how long you've been married to your spouse, it is vital for you to maintain the intimacy quality (and sometimes, quantity as well) in your marriage. So, to bring back those fiery passion or just to make sure your married sex life won't be dull or boring, follow these simple steps!
1. Communicate with your spouse
We all know that communication is the key to a successful marriage, especially when it comes to a married couple's sex life. Just like any other things in your marriage, you need to clearly communicate your needs and wants, or even share your sexual fantasies to your spouse, that way the two of you can help each other in fulfilling those desires. But aside from the sex talk, improving your communication in general will also create a sense of closeness and openness between you and your spouse.
2. Don't rush it
Surely you don't want your sex life to lose its meaning into something that you're obliged to do rather than what you want to do. So, make an effort to bring back those sparks. Don't just do it and be done with it; build the excitement early on by starting the day with sexy texts or flirty compliments, and when you finally have the time to be intimate, prolong the foreplay session and really enjoy every minute of it, mainly because time is such a luxury in most cases.
3. Try something new
When sex has become a routine, and you feel like you already done everything with your spouse, things will get boring and mundane. Don't give up just yet! There's always something new to try. You can try experimenting with new positions, include sex toys or even try doing it outside the bedroom or someplace new. Explore the things both of you are willing to try and have fun in finding out a new sensual experience together!
4. Dress for each other
When you first dated your spouse, the two of you might dressed to impress each other. Now, just because you feel like you've known each other so well, even inside and out, doesn't mean visual beauty and appearance are no longer important to spark up the romance between the two of you. You don't have to change your look entirely or shop for a whole new wardrobe, simply take better care of your body, spray a hint of fragrance here and there, and prepare sexy lingerie to wear underneath your clothes to set the mood.
5. Be spontaneous
Don't get stuck in a rut or follow the same sexual pattern over and over again. There's something exhilarating about having sex with your partner in unexpected time and place. You can try to sneak into the bathroom while your husband is taking a morning shower and go for it. Got the house to yourselves? Explore new area outside the bedroom and enjoy the thrill!
6. Make the time
Especially for married couples who have a busy work schedule and limited time, try to make a designated time for intimacy rather than utilizing the last spare time left in your day. When you try to have sex at the end of a long and tiring day, most likely you wouldn't have the energy and care less about the quality of the affections. Even if you need to steal some time to indulge in a quickie before going to work, what important is you shouldn't let sex comes last in your marriage. This special schedule will help the two of you to reconnect and stay close to one another.
7. Give a little surprise
Who doesn't love a sweet (and sexy!) surprise? Once in a while, surprise your husband with a romantic candle-light dinner at home, take your wife to a surprise long-weekend getaway trip, or turn your room into a serene spa corner and give him a sensual backrub or body massage after a long day at the office. This way the two of you can be refreshed and found a new, exciting way to please each other.
8. Remove distractions
It would be hard for couples to focus and concentrate on their intimate and sensual side when there are lots of distractions around them, such as their crying children, buzzing phones, or noisy sounds from the TV. So, create a safe place for the two of you to cuddle, talk, and of course make love, by getting someone to watch the kids for a while, turn off or even move the TV out of your room, and ignore the constant disturbance from your phones. Don't take every minute together for granted and you'll have a better sex life in your marriage.
9. Make it comfortable
It doesn't always have to be hot, rough, and entirely new every day, sometimes married couples also have their preferred ways to have sex that they're comfortable with. So, when you feel like you worry too much or trying too hard to bring new flavors to your sex life, just go back to the basics. Do it in positions and rhythm that has always worked for you and your spouse. After all, why fix something that's not broken?