5 Good Reasons to be Selective in Choosing a Life Partner

by Belle Biarezky [[ 1565143200000 | amDateFormat:'ll | HH:mm' ]] in Relationship Tips 


What do you seek in a husband? Love is probably the first and the most popular answer among people. However, love sometimes is not enough to make you say "yes" to your lover when he asks, "Would you be my wife?" Of course, everyone wishes for a happily ever after marriage. Thus, having several husband criteria is one of the ways to have an ideal marriage life.

Passion, commitment, and companionship are three components of the Triangular Theory of Love by Robert Sternberg, a professor in psychology from Yale University. When all three components exist in a relationship, then it is an ideal marriage. Discovering, and then maintaining those components in a relationship, according to Sternberg, is indeed difficult, but possible as long as you are actively doing it. Having a couple of husband criteria is an effort to achieve an ideal relationship. Therefore, you can be selective as long as you are based on these reasons:

1. You will have to spend a life with him
No marriage dreams a divorce. Until death do us apart is a wish that every couple has. In a marriage, you cannot compromise his existence anymore. Accordingly, imagining whether you want and could spend the rest of your life with him is a way to make a consideration.

2. You can compromise with his challenging characters
Traits can change, but not characters. It is not the negative ones, but the characters that are contrasting to yours that have to be considered because they can set a conflict in your relationship. Both of you should be able to compromise with each other's distinctive traits and characters.

3. Having similar views and visions
Talk heart to heart with your lover about what marriage means according to each of you. If both of you can accept each other's opinions, then talking about the visions will become easier. Marriage also needs a strategy. From how to handle financial, organize the errands, to plan for a child, everything should be agreed since the beginning.

4. Comfort in communication
Every person has a different communication style, but do you comfortable with you fiancee's way of communicating? Communication is vital to maintain the relationship. Moreover, it is a seed of honesty. In the future, you and your spouse will face various challenges that need joint decisions to solve them. A cold-headed brainstorming is necessary to make effective communication to deal with such things.

5. Receiving a positive response from family
In Asia, marriage means uniting two families. Everyone has different family issues, indeed, but the presence of your fiancee should at least receive positive reactions from most of the relatives to maintain a good relationship in the future.

"I think what makes our marriage work amid all the glare is that my husband is my best friend. He inspires everything in my life and enables me to do the best that I can. I want to hang out with him more than anyone." - Faith Hill, singer


  • Photography: Anthony Tran

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