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Compromise - The Wedding of Yohan & Nelly
by Kairos Works
Updated on 17 November 2017, Bali
I once believed in one love, once, for a lifetime. So I wanted to only date once in my life and get married. Unfortunately, I wasn’t that lucky. In reality, creating love is not that easy. It seemed like I was so naive back then. Being broken hearted by one love to another have taught me that there won’t be anyone who will match with us 100%. Thinking back lately, there is nothing that I regret from every relationship that I have been through. I have been molded and I have learned about humility and duty with every relationship I’ve ever been through. The first time I met Yohan, he was a new comer at the church. We exchanged hellos, introduced ourselves and became friends. I was in a relationship at that time, so there’s no way that I would think towards the line of a serious relationship. Looking from my relationship history, I won’t fall in love with somebody that I just meet. Everything starts with years and years of friendship. And maybe you’ll fall in love in the midst of your friendship journey and that takes years. In the beginning of getting to know someone, I think everyone’s packages appears to be good. It’s always been a homework for me to search for flaws in someone who will be my partner. When I’ve decided to date someone, I’ve always wanted to know more about them. How terrible is it when you’re in a bad mood and when you have a different opinion than me? That curiosity that I’m trying to look for is not to make fun of them, but to know how far can I accept their flaws. To me, love is when i see their flaws and I still choose to love them. Of course we will accept their strengths, even more, we’re proud of them. But what happens when you discover their flaws? Furthermore, when they have different opinions, then what happens? Demanding changes will happen. The demander is stressed out, the demanded is stressed out as well. Fight after fight, nothing is resolved. Then… a breakup? Find another, a more perfect one? There will be none! So we learn to accept their strengths, flaws, everything. The whole package. A lot of people say, after marriage, you’ll be surprised that their flaws will only start emerging. Because a lot of people have warned us and told us their stories, of course we learn to be better and be prepared for the worse. -Nelly
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