Photography: Half Orange Photography
Sex is very, very important to men. Even researches consistently show that 80-90 percent of men think that sex is a vital part of their marriage. When asked what they could change in their marriage, they wish that their wives would be more interested in sex and be more willing to initiate physical intimacy.
You hear about this 80-90 percent of men a lot and when you marry, you just assume that we end up with one of them. You think that your husband can not eat, sleep, drink, work, shower, breath, or basically live, without thinking about sex. But then after the honeymoon period is over, you begin to realize that he's apparently not that sex-obsessed. He comes home from work, steps into the shower, and comes out of it ready for bed. He doesn't ask you for it. He never forces you to use the "I've got a headache" excuse whenever you're tired. He seems to be very understanding of your physique and is satisfied with random acts of physical activities.
You then become worried. What is wrong with him? Why isn't he like those men you've heard so much about? You start to fill your mind with the most negative possibilities and question his trust. But you forget a very logical possibility. You might be married to a man who falls into the 10-20 percent of men for whom sex isn't all consuming.
Just as everyone is unique, so are men and their sex drives. It's different for everyone. And it's different for each man in every season of his life. When he's physically healthy, in financial abundance, in a loving relationship, and biologically still producing a healthy dose of testosterone, your husband might have a higher interest in sex than when he is feeling stressed or unhappy. Then he is more likely to expect sex of you than when he's not feeling it.
The best to always be updated about his expectations of sex is to consistently talk to him and to openly discuss the subject with him. Don't reduce him to a box and stereotype him.
Although the need for sex and for physical intimacy will never be the same for a husband and a wife, sex is still an important part of marriage. Regardless of how often or seldom your husband thinks or talks or has interest in sex, it is still a vital aspect of who he is as a man. For the sake of your love for him, it is best to consistently strive to understand him and his needs, and to accommodate it enough to bind yourselves together as one.