Wedding Planning: Training Ground for Marriage

by Bridestory May 21, 2016 | 09:00 in Relationship Tips 


You know how planning a wedding can bring a lot of stress and worries in ways that you might not expect, because a wedding isn't just any normal event, right? You always try hard to be on your best behaviours (who wants to become a bridezilla anyway?) but sometimes the tendency to act a little bit crazy can be way too hard to deflect. When you begin to feel stressed out and anxious these can very much effect how you are towards your partner as well and vice versa. Let's face it, no one likes to be with a stress head but often times, it's often hard no to become on before your wedding day. And when the tension is high, it can even sometimes take a toll on your romantic relationship. Suddenly, you find ourselves arguing a lot with your partner and feeling like the relationship is just not the same anymore. You both start bickering and finding it difficult to agree on a lot of things about the wedding. And the smallest of problems you both encounter turns into big ones.

When our relationship is suffering during the wedding planning period, it can really make us wonder and question whether we should stick to the plan or call of the wedding. This is how bad it can be if we do not know how to use this time as a training ground to actually better our relationships. Depending on how the dynamic of our relationships turn out to be during this possibly chaotic period it can tell us quite a bit about how our partners as well as ourselves might respond to a challenge in the future.

Although we cannot directly compare a wedding to a marriage, we can use the wedding planning journey as a learning experience on how to be later on once we have said our "I do"s. So, let us break it down to help you see how you can use your own wedding planning journey as a test for how well you and your partner might handle difficulties during marriage.

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    Treat it as a Relationship Check-Up

    So ladies, once you can begin to treat the wedding planning journey as a training ground for the marriage, you can start checking in on your relationships. How is your relationship doing right now? Are you and your fiancé chilling, relaxing and breezing through the journey? Or are you both finding each other a lot more irritating, annoying and arguing a lot? This is the time to check in and ask yourself, if your relationship dynamic is just the same as before the wedding planning started or if the planning has made the relationship feel a lot more intense (and not in a good way either). Disagreements during this period are absolutely okay and not a big deal. However, if you are arguing a lot then it is most likely more than just about which type of flowers to have on your wedding day. Dig deeper! Any challenges or difficulties that you both are facing due to the wedding planning are triggers for bigger and deeper issues within the relationship. So, use this chance to figure that out and actually talk about what is bothering you both. When you both find yourselves arguing about the smallest things about the wedding day and you keep on repeating those arguments then get to the root cause of the problem! You might be feeling more distant from your partner because of spending a lot of time planning and vice versa. Or you both might just need a time to reconnect again as partners. Whatever it is that is the actual underlying issue – get to it and get to it fast! The more we allow an issue to fester, the harder it will get to get it out.

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    Learn How to Solve Problems Together

    This is not the time to give up only because the going is getting tough! This is the time to work together and to learn to compromise with one another. We all know how chaotic planning a wedding can be because we are not only thinking about what we want alone. To have to take into consideration about what we, our fiancé, our family and his family want all at the same time can feel literally overwhelming. This is exactly why this is a perfect time to test out your communication skills with your partner! What better time than to practice compromising, listening and respecting one another than a time like this? If you and your partner can just get through this then you both will learn how to get through more problems in the future together. Remember, that yes the wedding day is an important day and is very special, however, this isn’t the end of it all – you still have your whole life ahead of you together. It is important to get through it because a wedding is just a one-day thing – not your whole marriage. If you cannot get through this together then how will you both be able to get through a whole lifetime of compromise, communication and commitment? There are and will be bigger and more important things to worry about once you are married. This is only the beginning so get through it because it will all be worth it in the end.

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    Try to Learn from Your Mistake and be Forgiving

    If your relationship isn’t going so well during this time period, then do not panic! Just because things might not be handy dandy does not mean it will forever be like that. The whole point of using this time as a training ground is so that you can both learn something from this and take those lessons as a shield for when difficult times arrive during the marriage. So, do not worry too much if you both are not getting along as well as before or there are issues in the relationship but you are not handling it as well as you want to. As long as you both are still trying and trying to make things better then that is all you both can do. Sure, this time period can be a little bit of a preview to the future however; you can always change the situation right now in order to change the future for the relationship. Who says mistakes are there to show that your relationship isn’t strong enough for marriage? Mistakes are there for you to learn from and become even better partners for each other. Embrace the fact that there are problems at the moment because this way you are only going to be learning more. Problems will continue to pop up inevitably during your whole marriage. What makes a marriage work is not that you lack the problems, but that you both are able to get through them together.

If we can see the time period before the big day as an opportunity to learn as much lessons as we can in order to better the relationship – the more we will benefit from any challenges we encounter. Do not let a bunch of arguments or disagreements about this one-day event make you doubt the relationship.

If you or your partner can see that there are in fact unresolved issues within the relationship, which are being triggered then great! This is the perfect time to hash out all those problems before you enter a whole lifetime together. Don't you think it is much better to get through any big issues now before you both say, "I do"? And don't you think that even if there are problems ahead you both will be able to get through them regardless? Use this chance to put your relationship under training – because when else will you get this chance? Don't let your relationship be the victim of the wedding planning chaos – use the chaos instead to your advantage. Have fun plannign your dream wedding!

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