You might have been dating your boyfriend for quite some time, and while you're serious about this relationship, he's not popping the question just yet. Surely you don't want to rush, force or pressured him to put a ring on your finger, but we also understand that you're starting to feel anxious and need clarity. So, what to do? First, you need to find out what's holding him back from confirming his future with you. These are the most common reasons why some guys are resistant to taking that leap into matrimony, find out what's the case with your boyfriend, and hopefully, you can handle the situation better, look for the solution, and move forward.
1. He's saving the money
Let's face it, getting married and having a wedding cost money, especially if one of you have a specific idea of a dream wedding. So maybe he's not asking for your hand yet because he's saving for the engagement ring or the wedding party. If you think this is what might make him hesitant to propose, you can let him off the hook by telling him that you'd be happy with a less expensive ring or smaller wedding to celebrate your union, you can also offer to contribute to the wedding fund so he won't have to bear the burden by himself.
2. He still has some career goals to accomplish
He might have a particular goal or vision of an ideal position he must be in professionally before tying the knot. Thus, making him more focus on his career rather than your relationship. If he's on his way to graduate from school, had a career change, recently unemployed, in the first phase of starting a business, or trying to pursue a promotion at his workplace, it's likely that he will wait until he accomplished those goals before proposing to you. Have a discussion to find out how far is the point he's trying to reach so that you'll know how long you should wait, and you can also figure out how to best support him in achieving his dreams. Ensure him that you'll be by his side, whether as his girlfriend or his wife, so that he won't see marriage as an obstacle to his career path.
3. He's not financially stable yet
Most men's priorities tend to be focused on achieving a sense of financial security before having a family. Even if they have a career woman as a spouse, these men want to feel like they can fully support their future wife and children before deciding to get married. If your boyfriend is not financially stable, struggling with debts or still having a hard time paying his bills, it's probable that he won't add the burden of supporting a wife anytime soon. If money is the issue behind his hesitation to propose, talk to him and see how you can solve the problem, cut expenses and working together to reach your financial goal. That way you can see where getting married fits in this plan and even be closer as a couple, thanks to this shared mission.
4. He's too comfortable with the current situation
Marriage might not cross his mind yet because he doesn't see why he has to change anything from the current situation. All of the advantages of being unmarried; the independence and freedom, could be the things he's not ready to let go. If he's facing this kind of dilemma, tell him that while marriage does come with responsibilities, it doesn't mean that the two of you would lose all your freedom to express yourself, to stay in touch with your peers, or to do your own things alone some times. But make sure he knows that there will be boundaries and limits so that he won't take your trust for granted.
5. He's unsure about the future with you
If you found out that the reason why he hesitated is that he still feels particular uncertainty about the future with you, then you have to decide whether if the two of you can compromise, learn to be accepting, and find the solution or end the relationship altogether. Could it be that the two of you have a different life goal or dreams? Do you want the same thing in life, like children? Or maybe he looks at the constant fights you've been having as a sign of incompatibility? Is there an external factor, for example, disapproval from the family? Sit together and figure out the directions you want to move forward to and see if your path align.
6. He's not mentally ready
Marriage is a big step, and there's no specific time or age for a person to be ready for it. Some might take longer than the others to mentally prepared themselves for this long-term commitment, and maybe your boyfriend is one of them. Especially if he grew up around bad marriages, such as hostile home life or divorced parents, or experienced a relationship failure in the past himself, then he would need some time to heal and regain his trust and belief in the reality of marriage. Acknowledge his concerns and try to empathize with his pain, because some men might find it hard to express themselves emotionally. Help him to recover and walk away from the traumas and hopefully he will give true love a second chance. To get yourself mentally ready for marriage in general, read this article: 9 Things You Can Do to Mentally Prepare for Marriage
7. He's waiting for the right moment
We know, waiting is so hard, especially for such a big occasion! But be patient, maybe he's simply waiting for the perfect moment to pop the question. If the two of you have been talking about marriage, being on the same page about the things you've discussed, or even arranging your future plans together, then don't worry too much. How can you tell when the moment is coming? See if he's been acting kind of weird, asking you lots of personal question or nonchalantly inquiring about your ring size, when he does these things your dream proposal might be on the horizon!