From the moment we were born, our parents have raised us and cared for us. They have spent the bigger part of their lives trying to protect us, to teach us values, and to make us happy. They have prepared us endlessly for adulthood, anticipating for that moment to finally arrive sometimes. Then the time has come for us to get married, there is nothing that asserts independence more than marriage. For us, it's the leap of faith that sends us straight into adulthood, and we can't be more excited. But have we ever thought of what this meant for our parents?
Every parent will see the marriage of their children a wonderful thing. But for some, it can be a difficult time, one that involves letting go, or grieving for their own youth and giving up their control in the family. No matter how excited a parent may be for her child getting married, the transition involves inevitable loss as well.
When you are caught up with all the details of wedding planning, don't be surprised if you suddenly notice a change of behavior in your parents. When you marry, your life will change. And so will theirs. They might be just afraid as you are of the changes that may take place in your lives. Here are three ways you can help your parents cope with anticipating the changes:
1. Spend some time with them
Keeping in constant touch with their children is the easiest way to cope with the changes. You will have a whole life to spend building your life with your partner, why don't you spare some time before that to just talk with your parents? They're going to love it, for sure.
2. Get them involved
Keep your parents updated on the wedding planning and find ways they can contribute, not only financially, to your big day. For example, you can take them along for a food tasting session or picking out the wedding cake, you can also let them be involved in the meetings with vendors. Let them share in your happiness and treat it as their last "hurrah!" as parents that do things for their child.
3. Arrange activities they can do together
Encourage your parents to rekindle their own relationship by spending more time together. Their child is no longer their primary focus during the day now that you're getting married, and they can improve their quality of their own romantic relationship by taking up new hobbies together.
4. Ask for their advice
No matter how small, parents surely love it if their kid ask for an advice and actually follows it! So, if you have any difficulties during this wedding planning process, don't hesitate to ask for their opinion. Don't immediately brush off any ideas from your folks as well, even if you think it's totally ridiculous. Say thanks for they advice and keep it aside for a while. Who knows if they actually give out great advices!
5. Listen to their needs
We know the wedding day would be YOUR day, but can you at least make sure your parents have everything they need to celebrate that day with you? Ask for what they want, whether if it's a pair of comfy shoes or certain type of food menu, and try your best to include those things on your big day to ensure their comfort.