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A Standard of Grace - The Prewedding of Rheinaldy & Caroline
by Axioo

Updated on 30 July 2019, Yogyakarta

It is both a blessing and a curse to have a mind so enamoured with details. We easily get irritated when a thread frays from someone else’s sweatshirt, or when we miss a spot even after thoroughly mopping the floor. There’s this urge inside of us to always fix what we think can be fixed or do things our way, which is always the better way… or so we think.   Perfection minimizes the opportunity for improvisation. Our desire for perfection oftentimes leave us with very little space. We unintentionally spare no room for flexibility and creativity. We live in a world full of standards, because that is how we measure whether something is good or not, whether something is successful or unsuccessful. However, in a world so reliant on standards is where we often end up with things being messier than we intend them to be.    Relationships are messy, that’s why our perfectionism has to be left at the door when we enter into a relationship. In fact, relationships are messy because people are messy. If we cling tightly to our standard of perfection, or any standards at all, it’ll be as if we’re carrying with us a baggage for the other person to carry, too — a burden they were never supposed to carry. Instead, if we let go of perfection and turn to grace, the burden becomes light.    Grace is forgiveness, sincerity, patience, and love, all served together on a plate. If we are to have any standards at all, why not adopt a standard of grace? Grace is what we need to embrace our own flaws and the mistakes of others. Grace sees people not as something that needs to be fixed, but sees each and every one of us as unique individuals worthy of so much love.   When we let grace takeover, we’ll gain courage. Little did we know, our perfectionism had been paralyzing us all along, hindering us from seeing “beauty” just as it is. Have the courage to get your clothes wet and throw yourself into the water once in a while. You might find many beautiful undiscovered treasures under the sea.    When we let grace take the steering wheel, we’ll know what it’s like to breathe for the first time. We’ll stop letting our inner critic make our decisions for us, and we’ll start to operate based on a sound heart and a sound mind. The inner critic only sees flaws and areas that need improvement. The heart, instead, will teach you how to not take the things that we have for granted and to cherish every moment with our loved ones, in spite of their imperfections.    No relationship was ever meant to be flawless. It is when the relationship seems too perfect that we must question the authenticity of it. Grace is the main ingredient for a sweet and fruitful relationship, not perfection. Let us always hold imperfections up to a standard of grace, so that every flaw will be able to thrive even through the cracks of brokenness.     Love, Axioo

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